firfiricoventures
operating on a hunch
DEEN

Street smarts.Handshakes over Harvard.

Trading two and a half cigarettes for a Lambo, turning a flat into a golf resort, and retiring the smartphone.We believe in these ideas. Someone has to.

Explore the portfolioStrategy sorted. Broadly.

WHAT WE DO

Let’s do it.
Eventually.

Some people write a business plan.
We started with a website.

Firfirico Ventures is a home for the ideas that usually die in the group chat at 3 a.m. A little entrepreneurial spirit, a few friends, and the willingness to actually follow through on something ridiculous. Let’s see where it goes.

We take responsibility very seriously. Who’s responsible is another matter.

OUR INVESTMENT THESIS

Will it make
a good
story?

☑ yes → do it.
03ideas with business potential
€4.73raised from investors
+420% return on fun*
100%“we’ll figure it out”

*Internally audited. By the person who made the numbers up.

THE NOTICEBOARD / ISSUE 001

There’s definitely a market for this.

Pick your business risk ↙

Raising capital by handshake

Two and a Half Cigarets GmbH

Two and a half unsmokable cigarettes, one night out, and the firm belief that there’s a Lambo at the end of it.

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CASE NOTES / 01

From cigarette filters to scissor doors.

It started on a night out: two and a half hand-rolled cigarettes, too badly rolled to smoke. They became two Marlboro Gold, then heart-patterned plasters and Fisherman’s Friend. A tampon, a glasses-cleaning cloth and a very stylish Sportsman pack have since joined the portfolio.

Follow every real trade in the venture’s own expandable tree. Four deals are documented. The Lamborghini remains the goal.

The Lambo is in the plan. All we’re missing is the Lambo.

Teeing off from the living room

Top Golf Cologne

A Wii, a tower block, and a cathedral view. Plus snacks. Golf has never been this close to the sofa.

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CASE NOTES / 02

Premium location. Regular carpet.

A friend lives in a tower block with a view of Cologne Cathedral. Add a round of Wii Golf and a few snacks, and you’ve got a major tourist attraction. Some call it a living room. We see untapped market potential.

Meet butler A.A. and golf pro KW5 on the venture’s own site: 18 holes of Wii Golf, canapés and cathedral views. Start planning your visit; dates and prices are coming soon.

Wrist strap on, please. That TV is privately owned.

Real life is calling back

BIN DRAUSSEN.

A phone that makes calls. People who meet up. Sounds outdated. Could be the next big thing.

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CASE NOTES / 03

Being reachable should be enough.

We want to experience more than we scroll past. Maybe that means a basic phone. Maybe just an evening without the feed. More time for friends, boredom, and things you can’t press “like” on.

Flip open the phone: facts, a time calculator and ideas for real connections. The movement is free; membership registration is being set up.

There’s no app for this. On purpose.

FIRFIRICO FOUNDER PROGRAMME™

Got one of those ideas?

You’ve got an idea. We’ve got a gap in the calendar. In business, that’s practically a partnership.

  • An elite network.

    An exclusive group chat. Strictly invitation-only. Unless we already have your number.

  • Unmatched traffic.

    We’ll open your link on the work laptop. Then our own. Two audience segments already.

  • Seriously smart money.

    €4.73 in capital. Plus three unpaid meetings’ worth of feedback.

The team decides. By team, we mean us. Usually whoever’s loudest.

DUE DILIGENCE / ROUND 1

Sell me this pen.

Or your idea. Two sentences will do. A third would mean scheduling a meeting.

Write a napkin pitchFold the napkin

Your draft stays here in the browser. Nothing gets sent yet.

You can tell it’s a good idea when the boss says they had it first.

INTERNAL / PLEASE DO NOT FORWARD TO NÜBEL

The executive suite.

A broad range of roles. A narrow range of people.

Senior management
Drawing of the same very pleased manager with curly hair

CEO

Had the idea. According to him.

Drawing of the same very pleased manager with curly hair

CFO

Has Excel installed.

Drawing of the same very pleased manager with curly hair

Head of Innovation

Asked the CEO what AI is.

Drawing of the same very pleased manager with curly hair

Advisory board

Was there last time, too.

Still hiring: someone who knows what they’re doing. You, perhaps? ↗

FILE N. / FOLLOW-UP REQUIRED

Nübel has some follow-up questions.

Nübel always has follow-up questions.

  1. Who is responsible for this?
  2. Is there a budget?
  3. Is any of this in writing?
Management’s official response

We won’t let ourselves be held back by someone who understands the risks.

FIRFIRICO VENTURES / INTERNAL

Annual report

Capital raised
€4.73
Self-confidence
unlimited
Open questions
38
Questions answered
0

Management cleared of all concerns.

Decision made by management.

TOP EMPLOYERCategory: We like working here.Read the independent study ↗

Respondents: senior management. Response rate: 100%. Critical voices: not on the mailing list.

SELF-AWARDED